YeAy Its MOnkiEs oN bikES WeeK!!!! (again)

Well its not easy writing a blog, people are often offended, feelings hurt, illusions shattered blah blah blah.

So in an effort to dumb things down to an acceptable level of banality, so as not to hinder corporate interests. And to conform to the pre determined diagnosis of non denominational bland porridge for breakfast that is main stream media, entertainment and political commentary.

I shall be instigating by popular demand, the much hyped and dearly loved:

Monkies On bicycles week!!!!!
yeah you heard it right! a big F$%K you to the establishment and animal lovers every where.

Now i Know the two or three people that regularly follow my ill formed and unstructured rants, along with the five or Six of you that might have been fooled over the last year into coming here with devious sound byte titles such as "hot Lycra butts" and "sex for chocolate" might not approve.

So i humbly apologise in advance for the grievous and frivolous abuse of primates ... i know some of you are political candidates (its true! go figure) and as such i might be having a devastating effects on your public standings.

But Shit you a signed up for this crap!

Besides they are more calming than a handle full oxicodine and a bottle of Jagermeister and more fun than injecting silicone into your testicles until they're 24" wide (google it) IMO at least.

I mean what's not to like? Fun for all the family right.

Harking back to a time of innocence before we had to worry about upsetting the crazy leftist bloc and libertarians everywhere.
A time when one could find satisfaction and contentment from watching our nearest genetic cousins dressed in a bespoke suit and touting a custom steel frame (you know before all the feckin hipsters jumped on the band wagon),

As we enjoyed the wonders of polyester and such spectacles as the Tour De France, over a nice cuppa rosie on half day closing. Before we had to consider capital gains, free market economies and global Dimming (google that as well)

ah the good ol`days!!!!

monkies on a bike week!!!! tell your friends.

Its peanut butter jelly time!!!!!

Its hot...feckin hot!!!! 45c with the humidex.

I spend my time hiding in the comfort of the A/C watching the TDF and riding far too much in the middle of the day. Like nearly 15hrs in the past 4 days....

Hit the bluffs today for some much needed VO2 max work.

usual 6 reps at 118% ftp.

first rep though i set a personal best time for the hill.

3minutes 37seconds with an avg of 502w, and a shit load of water bottles on my bike and in jersey pockets.

not bad on a 1.4km climb with grades of 16% in places. especially when it used to take me 5minutes 30seconds last year.....

then it was off for an excursion out east into my new stomping grounds. Through Rouge park and past the Zoo.

pouring as much water on my head as i could spare.....

i like my new area, its close to the bluffs and the spit. and when its sweltering hot in the city i can stroll down to little india at 11pm and grab an authentic Dosa.....

then come back to the A/c .....

a delicate subject?

Group Etiquette....OOOOoooooooo

Never an easy subject at the best of times.

Yet Cycling is a individual sport often played in conjunction with others.

at the local world's, a race or on the club run. It can be tricky at times to know exactly what and how to act.

what works in one place doesn't go over so well in another.

For instance I can be pretty belligerent in a race, and I can give as good as I take, but I like to think I keep it in bounds. But on the club run I know I have to act in a more accommodating manor. Though I'm sure there are those that think I'm pretty belligerent there as well.

but Some people just don't seem to get it. Oh well this isn't going to be an exercise in venting so I'll leave it there, I guess its subjective anyway.

I learnt a new phrase today! "dutch oven" is this a North American thing? I'd never heard it explained before tonight. Thanks Dr Rosenberg for once again broadening my horizons!!!!

Cycling has such interesting terms....like Jit-bag(s).

Dutch oven, Jit-bags am I becoming Americanized? whats happening to my vocabulary?

In other news, I got my results back for the first unit of my chemistry course work....93%.

I guess google does have its uses.





.....Dutch oven that ones going to stick. :0)

Doing the do!

Ok so i might have ripped the crank arm off my race bike, but thats no excuse for missing out on your hill reps!

So Saturday morning i hit the beaches back streets for a session of loops on my single speed, hitting some out the saddle hill reps.

Ramping up a swift 500m of vertical ascent, in a little under an hour.

which kept the blood flowing and the sweat flowing.

hopefully i'll get my bike fixed tomorrow, and i can get back to the FTP.

enforced 1 leg drills.....

I hate carbon wrapped bike shit!!!

it always fails sooner or later.

Been having a few issue's with my crank lately.

Guess I know the reason now. fucking thing sheared off 8km from home.

guess I got my one leg drills in....

K-W road race

Applied Cycling physics 101:

Position is not an indication of effort applied...

Sounds like a good excuse ;0)

So yesterday was the next round in the O-cup series, the K-W classic.

I like that course, fast (safe) descents, false flats and short punchy climbs.

I was feeling pretty good so I thought I'd try to be a bit more pro-active with the breaks.

There are certain things I fail to understand but have however come to accept about bike racing and those that do it.

Like why is it some people put in a huge effort to create a break, get 50 feet or more on the pack and then promptly sit straight up and give up? I mean what exactly was their motive in expending all that effort only to give up as soon as it seemed to be working?

Maybe they are afraid of success, perhaps as soon as they see they might actually have to commit to the implications of the effort they just put out they decide it's all too overwhelming.

Anyway what ever it is I decided to roll over the top of one such break and keep going; pausing only momentarily to offer a short critic of their riding styles.

I hooked on with a Z team guy and together we managed to stay away for nearly two laps. Although it wasn't ever likely to succeed with only the two of us, I hoped for some more people to bridge across.

And when a group of 5 or so came up the road, I hoped it would stick.....the peloton had another idea though.

So after that I worked hard to get away for another few laps but nothing happened.

Then just as i sat up to rest in the pack, top up my water supply (big thanks to Sandra and Ernesto for working the feed so well)

7 guys went up the road without me....typical.

luckily though two of our guys were there.

When they had put 1min 30 into the group I thought we would never see them again.


But with the break bought back with 1 lap to go it was all to play for again


and coming in to the final corners I was exactly where I had hoped and planned to be.


I had been playing the race through my head, a lot in the weeks before hand, in fact pretty much from the end of it last year.

however apparently my plan had some flaws in it and my dream position wasn't the quite the place to be after all (you live and learn though right).

Leading out on the final straight I tried to kick but had nothing.

I looked back to see the pack massing behind to take control, and I watched powerless, with nothing more to do than counting those that came around me as we raced towards the line.

Final placing 16th....one worse than last year, but like I said no reflection of the effort applied.

El Capitain got 7th, popping out from behind me.

The "Vegas Fund" continues to grow....

avg speed for the day 26.1 mph/42 kmph ...

i hurt myself today...

There is something about this sport.The need to reach and push your limits.To stretch the cord, to jump and jump and jump.To feel the burn but know that those around you feel it worse.then lay it out there all again. Till ..snap!!!


you break away.

the pay off....straight from the manual.